A Treatise Against Happy Endings

By Thorson Bray:

“Everyone lived happily ever after” is the ending we condition children to expect. One day, you will receive a rough approximation of everything you want, and you will go off into the sunset for ever and ever. This would be a delightful world to live in. Unfortunately, we do not live in that world. As a matter of fact, it is literally impossible to live happily ever after.

Let’s just say I’m writing a story about two lovers who end up together and I really want that happily ever after. The statistical probability of divorce is easy to write around. Death is less so. One of them is going to die sooner or later. If it’s sooner, the other one will be devastated for a time, then probably get over it and find someone else, and then we’re back at square one. If it’s later, the other one will remain devastated until they also succumb to old age while pining for their passed lover.

That isn’t very cheery. Okay, maybe they both live long, happy lives with their family and friends and then die at the exact same instant, clutched in each other’s arms. Perfect, neither of them has to spend a moment alone and EVERYONE lives happily, if not “ever” after. Wait, what about those “family and friends?” Won’t they be absolutely crushed at the simultaneous loss of two people who lit up every room they were in? Oh, God, think about their children! Now there are dozens of other stories thrown into despair by the death of these two perfect people. Good job.

Fine, let’s get fantastical with it. Society progresses rapidly in the years between my two lovebirds meeting and when they’re old. Medical technology is now so advanced that a simple treatment can make you live literally forever. They both take it and get to live happily ever after. Problem solved!

Until the boredom kicks in. Forever is a long time. Imagine our beautiful couple roughly five billion years into the future. They’ve read every book. They’ve seen every movie. They have had every possible conversation with each other in every possible language a few dozen times. Also, the Sun is about to explode. Once it does, they’ll be left floating through space until they bump into a planet. Maybe that planet will have movies and books and languages, but eventually they’ll end up in the same situation: Sitting, waiting for something new to happen. They’ve lived ever after, sure, but it’s hard to think of anything less happy.

So just cut the story short! I can fade to black as they kiss at their wedding, or when they look into their baby’s eyes, or… But those aren’t endings. There’s always another story to tell, until they die. Whether the end of someone’s story in your life is them passing, or just drifting away, or breaking off from you in a big argument, it isn’t happy. Endings just aren’t happy. And that’s fine. Because the story can be. If you focus on the ending, everything will seem like it’s all leaving and dying and sadness. You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to get a happily ever after. Just do what you can to be happy right now.