If My Dogs Could Read

By: Lilly Lemanski

I love my dogs. I really, really do. However, sometimes when I look into their eyes, I swear there’s not a thought between those floppy ears.

Now and then, however, I look at them staring up at me—well, they’re usually staring at the food in my hands and not actually me, but I digress—and some things just seem right. Yeah, if Lambeau and Miller were humans, Miller would definitely listen to 90s grunge music, and Beau would definitely listen to Frank Sinatra. I can’t explain the reasoning; it just makes sense. Recently, it occurred to me that they might enjoy stories, not only if they were humans, but even now. When I settle on the couch in the evenings with a book, Miller has to climb up on my lap to cuddle as if she’s a lap dog (she’s not), and Beau comes over and sticks his nose under my book, thinking it’s food (it’s not). Now, I’m wondering what kinds of stories they might enjoy.

Miller, I’ve decided, would read dystopian fiction that has a strong female protagonist. A pit bull mix standing at a reasonable two feet, she could scare anyone who doesn’t know her away just from her unusually broad shoulders and notorious RBF alone, but she’s sweet. She carries a rope toy around in her mouth and playfully barks at you until you come to play with her. She’ll wag her tail, spin in circles, and steal any toy Beau wants just for attention. She’d enjoy Katniss Everdeen and Juliette Ferrars, I’d be willing to bet. They both have drive, and they both fight for themselves and the ones they love.

Beau, I’m not so sure about. Beau’s a mutt. We have no idea what he is. He’s goofy and a little disproportionate, but he’s the nicest dog you’ll ever meet. The poor guy has absolutely no thoughts apart from the occasional “food, food, family, love, food, happy, happy, happy!” so I have no idea what books he would read. In some weird way, I could see him reading the big coffee table books about history. He would read them, but probably wouldn’t absorb them. Nevertheless, he would have a good time reading them. There would even be pictures, pictures that don’t involve reading! He would love a picture book, I think.

Maybe I should read my dogs books. I’m not so sure, though. I think they more so enjoy the feeling of being with their family than anything else, which honestly feels like a nice life to live. It’s a fun thought, though.